Finalized this MasterClass on negotiation with Chris Voss (the author of Never Split the Difference - see my goodreads review) and I strongly recommend it.
Voss’s 3-hour class is a great complement to his book and in my opinion a must see as it gives you a great toolkit of strategies and tactics you can deploy while at the negotiation table (i.e. while you are facing your counterparts).
There are other books that are very relevant in order to define and prepare your negotiation framework and approach, that are also must reads, like Getting to a Yes or Négocier avec succès : Préparer, iloter et réussir ses négociations (the latter in French), but this master class is especially impactful for when you are at the negotiation in itself.
Below you can find my key takeaways, the strategies and tactics I will try to deploy in my future day-to-day negotiations:
Create Tactical Empathy → so you can create a trust-based negotiation environment. Empathy is not compassion or sympathy, but the effort to understand 100% of the other side perspective and also very important their feelings. With that you should grasp what is at stake, what are the rules you have to play and define what are the commodities at stake.
Use Mirroring (repetition of the last 2/3 words of what your counterpart said or 2/3 ideas of the overall statement with a good/smooth tone of voice) → in order to get more information, get the other part more engaged and involved (as it shows you are actively listening to them).
Employ Labeling → to reduce and deescalate emotions, to convey what you see or heard and that you are aware of the other side emotions (e.g. “It seems like …” or “it feels like…”). This will allow you build the relations, gather additional information and also influence the other. Don’t use the phrase “What I heard was…” as it conveys that what you are interested on what you think and not on what the other part is conveying. Use Mirroring and Labeling in tandem.
Master Delivery → your tone of voice speaks volumes! you have 3 main tones you can use: Analyst, Late Night DJ, Inquisitive and you should couple it with 2 inflections: Assertive or Playful. While at digital communication don’t forget to end positively, make it short, try to be concise in the goals, and don’t forget that most probably will be read negatively.
Understand Body Language and Speach Patterns → it is easier to find when someone is telling the truth that when they are lying (usually you tell the truth in one way, but you can lie in several ways - polygraph method). Don’t forget the 7/38/55 rule, 7% is the relevance of the content, 38% relates to the tone and 55% with the body language!
Give the Illusion of Control to your counterpart → it will give you an upper hand in the negotiation. Ask open ended question started by “How” or “What”, avoid the “Why”, change a why question to a what question, force questions that force empathy (e.g. “How am i supposed to do that….”), use calibrated questions to shape thinking (e.g. “What happens if i do that…”, “How can i overcome that challenge…”).
Utilize Accusation Audit → to understand all the possible negative accusations your counterpart might have and diffuse it. You can have a direct approach (e.g. “it seems like you are not getting all the info you want”) or a more caution one (e.g. “probably you are thinking why I accepted this meeting”). Try to be as exhaustive and fearless while listing the accusations.
Realize the importance of a No → as most of the time is worth 5 “yes”. In a negotiation the counterpart will feel more comfortable to agree to a No than to a Yes. Example instead of using “would you agree to this…” change it to “are you against to commit to this…” or “can you pay this invoice by end of September” to “would you any problem to pay this invoice by the end of September).
Use Behavioral Science in your benefit → Exploit the loss-aversion. appeal to the sense of fairness and be prepared to respond to a fairness claim, don’t forget to leave a good last impression on every interaction.
Master Bargaining → by knowing the famous Ackerman system (65/20/10/odd value), pivot the negotiation from monetary terms, the deal should be made on terms, work with ranges and acceptable principles, anchor emotions not dollars (e.g. “we are far given the price set).
All books recommend in this post: